


to letting go (only if you want me to)

by sunsxleil



Series: Merry Christmas, I Love You [20]
Category: Carol (2015)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28264827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsxleil/pseuds/sunsxleil
Summary: December 23, being the day before Christmas Eve, must be a time of relative calmness to get ready for the intense bursts of energy the next couple of days. So, Carol and Therese spend the night by the fireplace drinking cocoa, where Carol once again brings up her thoughts on the (unlikely) possibility of Therese wanting to leave her. Therese, of course, wants nothing more than to stay.
Relationships: Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Series: Merry Christmas, I Love You [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035672
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	to letting go (only if you want me to)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from a little Google search where [this other list](https://kiu22.tumblr.com/post/37140678059/christmas-otp-challenge) popped up. Hope you guys like it!

It is December 23rd. Tomorrow is a busy day, and even more so the day after that. As such, Therese and Carol are spending the night in a relatively calm and serene atmosphere, free from bustling excitement. A soft melody plays on their phonograph, several other records beside it in case they wish to change the tune. They had made hot cocoa, with tiny marshmallows.

They are lucky enough to have a fireplace in their apartment due to being on an upper floor. So, they decided to huddle up in front of the fire, blankets and pillows around them, sipping on hot cocoa and doing nothing else for the night.

When Therese left Carol to get a cookie, Carol had looked quite comfortable and at ease. When Therese comes back, Carol seems deep in thought.

Brows knit, Therese slips under the blankets and scoots beside Carol. Carol sighs, relieved, and leans her head on Therese’s shoulder. Under the blanket, Carol almost climbs into Therese’s lap—half of her body is on Therese already.

“Is everything alright, Carol?”

Therese strokes Carol’s hair, and Carol gives a weak smile. In the early days, Carol would have dismissed the question.

“Are you really happy with me?” Carol asks. “Are you really content spending your days with me?”

‘ _What brought this on?_ ’ or ‘ _What are you talking about? I love you!_ ’ would’ve been typical responses Therese knows she should throw against those questions. So, she doesn’t say those.

“Yes, Carol.” Therese says, almost cooing. But not so much as to make it sound like she is teasing Carol, or treating Carol like a child. “I am content spending my days with you.”

Carol takes a sip of hot chocolate. “You know I wouldn’t mind if you found another woman.” Carol looks up at Therese to find subtly raised eyebrows, which makes Carol look away. “I won’t beg for you to stay if you don’t want to.”

Therese thinks this is due to her coming home most days having at least one story to tell about her peers. Sometimes, it’s a marriage, and other times, it’s a pregnancy. Most of the people her age at work talk about moving up a life stage while Therese has had her life established since five years ago. They’re still saving up to buy a house in the country, yes, but for now this is it.

Therese is fine with that, really.

“You’ve told me that a thousand times, Carol.” Therese lets her fingers stroke Carol’s cheek, before resting her palm against it. Carol shuts her eyes to the warmth, leaning into Therese’s touch. “If by any chance I manage to fall in love with someone else, I’ll tell you.” Carol opens her eyes, looking up at Therese in a pout. _Don’t leave me_ , they say. Therese chuckles. “And that’s a big _if_.”

“You’ll tell me if a blonde twenty-something tries to seduce you at work?” Carol says. “Man or woman?”

Therese nods. “And I’ll tell you in detail how they fail.” Carol sighs, and all Therese can do to relieve the tension in Carol’s bones is to kiss her. Deep, true, vulnerable. “No one could possibly do it like you.”

“And if someone does?”

“Then,” Therese pulls away, looking Carol in the eye. “I’ll do all in my power not to give in to them.” Carol’s brows furrow, and Therese knows it’s another night of Carol’s doubts and anxieties. It’s one thing for two women to be in love with each other, but another for a divorcee and a young, unmarried woman to fall in love. Carol had fallen in love before, and Therese has only gone through this once—and already swearing herself to Carol. How could Therese be so sure, that she might not want to use her years to test if she really wants Carol beside her till they grow old and die? Carol is fine, waiting. Her lover is young, and if only Therese wishes, Carol would let her go, if only for a short while.

On any other day, Carol would do all in her power to make Therese stay. Tonight, though, it is up to Therese to assure Carol she will not be leaving any time soon. Or ever, for that matter.

Carol reaches up for Therese’s face, brushing hair away from her face and cupping her cheek. “How did I get so fortunate to have you?”

Therese only smiles, and shakes her head. They share a kiss, wrapped in their blanket, Carol’s lips tasting like hot chocolate, and Therese’s tasting like cookies.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt was: sitting/snuggling in front of the fireplace with hot cocoa/tea. Hope you guys liked it even if it's not the usual fluff, and even if it's a bit short!
> 
> Anyway, all mistakes are mine, and I don't own the characters—Patricia Highsmith does. Hope you guys enjoyed that, and happy Carolmas! Christmas is so close already, so Merry Christmas Eve Eve!


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